This Paranoia Prima Donna Fame Crazed Landscape of Walking Dead People
February 3 - February 12
Sorry it’s taken so long for an update, my friends.
I’ve seen a spike in my subscribers as of late, so I’m going to address those of you who are new to the party. I’m a lifestyle blogger. I’m not just a writer—I’m a practitioner too.
“There was this one weekend in July that never really ended” – Joey, from Sipper
This post is too long and might get cut off in your email. So read on Substack instead. We’re throwing another show on March 4. The lineup will be announced soon, but you’ll get cheaper tix if you buy them before we announce the lineup. Ticket link here.
A table of contents for this post:
our second proper You Missed It show
The Life is here. but the list can’t save you
a spontaneous shift selling merch for MJ Lenderman
“how strong are you?”
GIFT is off to Europe
“the best private event space in New York” - Freakquencies host Richard Branson
Tyler threw the best party ever
And the never-ending procession of shows & parties marches on with Strange Ranger x This Is Lorelei at Pageant on March 11. Get your tickets here. I’m co-hosting with Firetalk Records. Legendary bands & a legendary spot. If you’re gonna roll thru Pageant, you better be on your high art shit. No exceptions. See you there.
2/3/2023 ~ YOU MISSED IT at Baby’s All Right, featuring…
Ernest Rareberrg x Sean Henry x YHWH Nailgun x Birthday Girl x Ben Special x Julian from Recess Therapy x DJ Thank You x Bloody Knuckles x Ian Sweet x CyberFairy x Eve from Palm x Anthony DiBattista x the Catcher after-party x Grapenut Brunch Club x Perfectly Imperfect x We Take Manhattan x Caroline x Martin x The Foggy Customer
As you can see from the list above, there were a lot of moving parts with this one.
We booked five bands and five DJs.
Then we added five hosts, a flash portrait artist, and a cigarette sponsorship.
A bit overwhelming. But you’ve heard what they’re calling 2023—the year of having your cake and eating it too.
One of our hosts was an actual host.
Julian Shapiro-Barnum interviews the next generation of leaders on his show, Recess Therapy. Julian is easily the most lovable man on the internet, and he was just as lovable at Baby’s.
Ben Special could have gone skiing. But instead they stuck around to play for you, loyal readers. Ben knows how to make a band sound good. He started touring relatively professionally when he was 19 and he’s 26 now, so it checks out.
Noah’s dad was there. He had a childhood picture of the shaddowdaddy on his homescreen. Noah’s bass playing is super melodic but he doesn’t over-embellish—the mans was grooving and he knew it.
Ernest Rareberrg’s performance had a cast of 15 people, including three nuns, two wrestlers, and a dazed-looking angel-man.
Ernest always leaves me asking questions. Where did he find all these people? How did such a soft spoken dude pull it all together? What’s the relationship like with his director, Sheheryar? Where did they rehearse?
Ernest only has four songs on Spotify (note that he was doing sleaze as early as 2019). If he releases more music, how much will be falsetto? How tall is he?
Sean Henry got me asking different questions. What’s the future of rock music? Do other people think of early Green Day when they see blonde highlights? If I get orange highlights, will Sean think I’m copying him?
Grateful that Sean went so hard promoting this. “Fuck with the vision, fuck with the vibe” – Blaketheman1000
I dipped for a few and snuck over to the bodega across the street. Got baked sea salt crackers, and sat eating them on some cases of La Croix. Charlie showed up. We met a couple women who’d just been turned away at the door.
Sorry to anybody who didn’t make it in. It was cold & I appreciate you coming out. I heard the satellite party down the street was fire, though. Peter texted me, “Roll East River Bar—it’s live.”
A special shout-out to Catcher. The day before their sold out Union Pool show, we reached across the aisle and joined forces. They announced an afterparty at Baby’s and we offered discounted admission for anybody who went to their show.
I didn’t hear til later, but we were at capacity when they arrived, and they got turned away. Sounds like they ended up at the spillover hang. Greg, Tom, and Alex were over there too, so who’s to say which one was the real party.
I was back at Baby’s Hall of Williamsburg watching Birthday Girl. My first time seeing them, and my god were there a lotta legends up on that stage. Sean was in the corner playing cello & looking positively demonic. He ended the night with his own free pack of Hestias—a prize for his outstanding performance.
BDG dazed and confused. There are too many killer pics from their set for me to include them all. Thanks for shooting, Justin : )
YHWH Nailgun closed out the main-stage. Psycho energy, as expected. I later learned that the lead singer was fighting food poisoning. Apparently he had to run off the stage a few times during sound check to puke in the greenroom. He’s such a badass for soldiering on.
Billy Jones wanted multi-room-activation and we gave him multi-room-activation. Anthony DiBattista set up shop in the merch area and offered flash portraits for $15. I’m obsessed with Anthony’s style and I own this one:
Hosting shows can be odd. You’re looking around the room and hoping people are having a good time. And you’re actually somewhat on-the-hook for that, even if they’re strangers.
I was excited to have people’s parents at the gig. I’m big on inter-generational fun. Maisy’s dad rolled thru. And another young woman in her 20s was there with her mom. They were two of the last people to leave. I don’t know who they were, so I’m going to refer to the full-adult woman as Mrs. GOAT. She reacted very strongly to Charlie.
He had Eva’s shaker and was playing along with whatever song was on aux. Mrs. GOAT was enthralled. “It’s so sweet, the way you play that,” she told him, in some sort of European accent. “You’re so sweet.” Charlie blushed, and gave the egg shaker another twirl.
Then Mrs. GOAT took a turn. She was off beat, but she poured her soul into it. She gave it back to Charlie: “It’s just so freeing, so beautiful, the way you play that.”
2/4/2023 ~ The Life x Stella Rose x A Bar Nearby
The list didn’t save me.
Whose money paid for this? What exactly is going on here?
I’ve been thinking about money a lot lately. I hate my bank and I’m sick of ATM fees. Considering going all cash. Quitting the banking system all together, and just keeping a shoebox of $$ in my closet. Tryna be financially off the grid.
Jack and I spent the day grinding at Dunkin. Full mogul-mode. The Feb 3 show was a win, but this is show business in the city that never sleeps. We need non-stop activation.
As the sun set, Jack gazed out the window, scanning the Bushwick skyline pensively. “The Life is Here,” he said.
Jack and I got in line for their release party at 10:20 PM. It was painfully cold and we thought about skipping, but we wanted to get inside and steal trade secrets. I’ve only been to a couple Ion Pack parties but they’ve both been Hobbesian—‘the list can’t save you’ seems to bring out everyone’s inner Hunger Games energy.
The Sipper Lazylazy Birthday Girl contingent linked with us in line and we waited for a good long while. We tried. We really did. People were leaving the party and coming down the stairs saying things like “it’s not worth it” and “they hate you in there.” I’ve been stuck outside of mansion parties before and it’s one of my least favorite things.
Apparently this was sponsored by a crypto company that passes out dog tags and wants to build a new utopian city in the Mediterranean Sea. But I can only confidently report what I could gather from looking in the window—this party definitely had paper towels.
We went to a bar around the corner. Shelby had tarot cards and I picked one. Jack said my card foretold torture in my near future.
2/7/2023 ~ MJ Lenderman x Florry x Trace Mountains at Market Hotel
I showed up with Tyler. We stood in line and talked Hestia. I should be going to more shows at Market Hotel. Can’t really think of anything more iconic than watching the J train pass a few feet from the window.
I was just settling into Florry’s set when Greg emailed the Baby’s email list with the subject line: *emergency*. He wrote, “Anyone available to work merch at Market Hotel for MJ Lenderman at Market Hotel right this little moment?”
I was already there, and I feel like I should be taking money whenever it’s presented to me. So I hopped behind the merch table.
MJ Lenderman is a reason to keep going to see bands. They know how to groove. Full of pedal steel and growling guitars. And it was a long ass set. Seems like heat was an issue—a fair amount of people dipped because of the temperature in there.
The MJ Lenderman fans wanted vinyl but I didn’t have any vinyl to sell to them. They also wanted large and XL t-shirts—I only had mediums and smalls.
2/8/2023 ~ Mermaid Show
A couple weeks ago, May called me up and asked how strong I am.
She was considering casting me as a fisherman for her mermaid show at KGB with Blums and Big Dumb Baby. I’d be responsible for carrying her, Ashley, and Kelsea in some kind of boat-like structure.
Last time May casted me, it was for the role of ‘horny troll’ in her (still unreleased) video for “Need You Like.” At this point in my career, I’m being really careful with the roles that I accept and those that I pass on. I decided that the role of ‘musclehead fisherman’ would not play to my strengths.
2/9/2023 ~ Freakquencies x Virgin Hotel
A bloodbath. Cameras, models, the media elite. $7 waters.
I pulled up in a Mercedes with the New York Times and Vanity Fair. We all love Harrison’s one song.
I was a host. But the event sold out before I posted anything so it’d be hard to argue that I really contributed. Very cool to be a part of it though. This was the only fashion week event I was sure I could get into.
The Virgin Hotel is indeed, a Virgin hotel. The views were amazing. Avi and Charlie found a route to the roof. The space itself was bizarre—a giant conference room / high school gym with this quote projected on the wall:
“I’m in the club while you’re online” – The Dare
Tommy from Beach Fossils said it felt like a billionaire’s bar mitzvah. Everybody was very beautiful but they didn’t dance much. I saw a lot of friends and it was certainly a singular experience. Grateful that Harrison had me host.
Honorable mentions:
Sweet Baby Jesus had a gig
Peter hosted karaoke at Baby’s. He texted me about it and I never responded. I’m sorry, Peter.
2/10/2023 ~ GIFT x Customer x Hooveri x You Missed It x Perfectly Imperfect x Nation of Language x Beach Fossils x Baby’s
Baby’s All Right was chock-full of homies for the GIFT show. But no Gleeson. And it’s just not the same.
Mac Demarco was there. I took a picture when I saw him, and Jack told me to chill the fuck out. But his face was framed perfectly by the window.
The first person I ever dated showed up. Which I didn’t anticipate and wasn’t ready for. I remember her showing me Mac Demarco in 2013.
TJ was worried about how this would go, but I wasn’t. GIFT knows how to sell tickets, and Baby’s knows how to throw a party. After a rock show like this one, who wouldn’t wanna stick around.
Especially with such a fire DJ lineup. Jack from Beach Fossils. Aidan from Nation of Language. Tyler from Perfectly Imperfect.
Baby’s was still packed when I disappeared into the night. If I know anything about GIFT, they didn’t stop the party til they got to Tina’s the morning after.
2/11/2023 ~ Perfectly Imperfect x You Missed It x Grapenut Brunch Club x Many More
Tyler and I see a lot of each other now. This was our third night in a row co-hosting events.
This PI party set a new standard for me. I don’t know if anybody else had the best time ever, but I did. So glad I got to sign on.
I’m feeling like restaurant parties are the new house shows. They’re unofficial, somewhat lawless venues. It’s more upscale, but you still get the thrill of seeing live music in a space where you’re not supposed to. Nobody has basements anymore, so invading restaurants is a more sensible fit for what DIY might look like at this point in our lives.
People were smoking inside. The brick arches downstairs felt like the Cavern Club. The Hellp played in a wine cellar and Amana got a picture with Dorian Electra and Chelsea Manning.
2/12/2023 ~ Arthur x Lily’s
I was conflicted on whether to go. But Rich was going and Baby’s might not be there forever, and decided to make the trip. “Baby’s seems like the hearth to me rn,” Rich texted. “The hearth is an Arthur show.”
For me, the hearth was red wine & chips and guac.
reading this in tinas