Someone hire me as a playlist curator or the blog self-destructs in 3 weeks. I’ve been working on figuring out what finance is and I’ll go corporate quicker than you can say ‘fuck indie sleaze.’
Tom Moore said my last blog post was too long. I know this to be true, because half of it got cut off in the email. But I stand by my creative vision. And until Tom hires me for something, anything, I’ll hear no complaints.
Pushing to get back up to date.
Andrew Baker keeps getting hit up by major label A&Rs because they read about him in this newsletter. If you guys are gonna hit him up, hit me up first. I write it. Logan said I am ‘the people’s A&R’ and I’m into that vibe. Slip me $20 and I’ll say whatever you wanna hear.
You know it’s boutta get weird when Spotify makes a playlist. Tyler and I did it better.
Also, by the way, I’m not gonna let the music industry take Turtlenecked away from me. I like that band.
11/11 ~ Sofia Zarzuela at The Broadway
I wanna play music like this.
Was gonna hit Chaos Computer. Charlie said they were opening up the second floor. But—location, location, location. And I wanted to hang with Jack. Who was on duty at The Broadway.
So instead I saw Sofia Zarzuela. Glad I stayed. A lot of songs about boys. She can really scream and she can really sing. The band was heavy and the drummer played traditional grip.
Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about artists who are willing to play the villain. Sofia introduced one song, “This is about being a boyfriend-stealer.”
It all felt Hole adjacent. I’m obsessed with “Teenage Whore.” And I think Hole is doubly interesting because Courtney Love has been vilified in rock music lore. Shoutout legends Ivana and Nick Olsway for getting me to listen to them <3
11/12 ~ Smut
Shoutout Sim for being the first reader I met in the wild. By ‘the wild’ I mean, somewhere besides Baby’s.
Sam hosted a Friendsgiving. Events like this are fun for me because:
It’s cool to see friends who have transitioned into adulthood more gracefully and sustainably than I have
I often end up eating actual food
Thank you for having me Sam <3 I bounced to see Smut. Would have loved to see Jayda G at Baby’s or Emile at Music Hall of Williamsburg. But Katie had me on the list for Alphaville and there were quite a few legends milling about.
I don’t remember too too much about Smut but I did write down, “damn those drums got a lil extra bounce in their step.” I finally met Thomas Peters. I like that guy. Is that what a Chicago accent sounds like?
Me Jack and Emma were the last ones standing. Emma likes The Beatles.
11/14 ~ Anna of the North x DWLLRS
Had to cover a merch shift for Jack at Baby’s so I missed Ernest Rareberrg’s film screening. Sincerely a bummer. But also I love Baby’s and I extra-love getting paid to sit there.
People are obsessed with Anna of the North. Another reminder that there’s a world of artists out there hitting people at a whole other level. Anna put me to work. She had me count the merch and organize it by size. She also let me choose how much they were selling it for. I chose $40.
I didn’t see her play—I was in the crocodile room folding crewnecks and hoodies. They said “Crazy Life” on them. Her fans seemed confused. A few asked if there was anything on the back. There was not. They didn’t say ‘Anna of the North’ anywhere. Everyone bought them anyway.
I’m not familiar with Anna’s accent, but her whole team was tall with strong bone structure. After the show, I stood with her at the merch table while sooo many fans shared personal stories of what her music means to them. Cool to see the range of people that feel deeply connected to this artist. Three fans asked if I was in love with her.
One guy was buzzing so hard off their interaction that he tipped me. I told him “I don’t think I’m allowed to take this” and he said “that’s from me to you just put it in your pocket.” Let’s gooooo.
Working merch is fun cuz people think you’re with the band. And they love the band. The second show was DWLLRS. I don’t know what they sound like. I wanted their hoodie but I didn’t get one.
Ivy worked door and hung with me a bit. She showed me pictures of her flower arrangements and said I am profound “at moments.” Which feels a bit back-handed. But also good. I loved when Chris called me a “lovable dipshit” in this post. In an ideal world, I think I’d probably be 80% lovable dipshit, 15% good friend, and 5% “sometimes profound.”
11/16 ~ Weedeater at St. Vitus
Jack and I have taken an interest in the stoner metal aesthetic recently. Not the music, really. Just the posturing around it.
We wanted to see Weedeater at St. Vitus with Richard Orofino but the tickets were $40 and videos led me to believe that we’d encounter overwhelming dude energy. Maybe next year.
11/17 ~ Pageant x Nitefire x Freakquencies
Linked up with Tyler and Rich before Sharleen’s show at Pageant. When I got to Win Son Bakery, Rich had a piece of fried chicken in one hand and a hazy IPA the other. I let him talk his talk. He bought a truck recently and he’s interested in acquiring a homestead.
The three of us mused on slowdown gang. We talked hopes. Dreams. Visions. Goals for the future, and how we gotta make it ok even if the world goes sideways.
Then we walked to Pageant. Why are dancers always barefoot? That’s the main reason I know I’ll never attend a dance class. But I’m glad there are other people out there doing it. Showing up to Pageant, taking their socks off and doing the lord’s work.
I sat on the ground.
It’s wild to watch artists who have built lives around using their bodies as instruments. And they have to put insane work into maintaining that instrument. So they probably can’t be out there just chasing the next buzz.
Lots of admiration for Sharleen. Dancing, movement directing, touring with bands, running a space. A confirmed real life rockstar.
From there we walked to Heaven. Freakquencies in Brooklyn is a win for the future of music. It’s also a 7-minute walk from my apartment. It’s crazy how quickly Harrison’s DJ sets can go from empty to overwhelming.
Sharleen said I looked like Hercules and that was pretty sick. But besides that there were just too many people. It thinned out later. At 1:28 AM I texted Justin “roll Heaven – officially having fun.” And I was. I told Emma that rock music had, in fact, been saved.
But then I flew too close to the sun and had to take myself out for a walk.
11/18 ~ Richard Orofino x Like a Doll x Meth Wax hosted by Caroline Safran
Please skip to the end to see Caroline’s more thorough review of this beautiful backyard friends gig—I’ll put guest features at the bottom from now on to keep things uniform.
One of the wildest things I’ve seen in NYC music was Dan English sitting in a chair playing “I’m On a Boat” on aux.
Isaac pitched me on Van Morrison and encouraged me to investigate my Irish heritage. He said that being Irish is cool. No one’s ever said something like that to me before.
My god can Richard Orofino write a pop song. I see how that blue-check-mark swag came together. Blows me away to have friends who can do this kinda shit.
My favorite Like a Doll set I’ve seen. Caroline agreed. Emma said they were all drunk.
If I’m gonna be straight with you, reader, and you know I always try to be, my feet were cold. It’s nothing about Meth Wax—I just wanted to get outta there. But Brandon asked me to stay. I want to be a famous producer like him someday, so I did. After three songs in the cold I decided I didn’t want to be a famous producer anymore.
To leave, I had to walk behind the band. Everybody could see. Approaching the door, I made eye contact with one of the band members. He looked hurt—I was walking out on their first show in 6 years. But I twisted the knife deeper and turned the doorknob. Sometimes you gotta know when to call it.
But I hope I’ll get to see Meth Wax another time <3
11/19 ~ Threshold x Blums
Best part of my night was learning that big Jake, who manages Lazlo, is also on the team that manages Yoko Ono. Worst part of my night was learning that she doesn’t perform much anymore. Was really counting on her to DJ at Baby’s on NYE.
Thanks Kelsey, for hooking me up with the list spot. Was so excited to finally hear her play. Blown out / trashy / growling guitar tones. She shared a quote from her grandmother that I’ve kept thinking about: “Don’t worry about getting things that match. Get what you like, and it’ll always go together.”
Threshold packed it out. The only person surprised about that was Isaac. The night before he said, “You should come if you can,” as if attendance was gonna be a problem. He stomped around the stage playing big distorted open chords. And he always goes for the wide stance when he’s soloing. Classic rock & classic hooks.
When Alex, Ruby, and Justin showed up, I decided that it was, in fact, the best night of my life. My dad has a habit of getting emotional on a relatively normal night and saying, “This might be the best night of my life.” But he always means it sincerely. I think he’s onto something—you can’t quantify how good a night is. So we’ll never have one official ‘best night ever.’ We’ll (hopefully) have many.
A night doesn’t have to be notable to be the best night of your life, if you’re doing something you enjoy with people who mean a lot to you. Another one of my favorite quotes from my dad: “I hope someday someone will see my thing as more than just optimism.”
Big picture, this was a beautiful gig. Just the right amount of homies. And I continued to have fun as it thinned out. Walked to the bodega with Beth and Jessica. Jessica got curly fries and I felt like we were at a fair—the fair of life.
Then we had an impromptu party at Greg’s apartment. Everyone met his pet rhumba. Jessica and I bonded over our shared interest in coming into a lot of money. She said a lot that I identified with:
“At this point in my life, I think, I’m humble. I’m normal. I’m not gonna become an asshole. So I would do well with a lot of money.”
“We’re all just tryna get an apartment like Greg Rutkin.”
On the viability of this idea—how we’d do it sustainably—Jessica said, “I live a garbage lifestyle. I love my life, but it won’t take much.”
11/21 ~ Dan English Guitar Orchestra x Kierst
I was late.
Dan texted, “yo you’re guitar is in that lil DJ thing. just jump in whenever you get here.”
Ok Dan “the ultimate chiller” English. I was grateful & relieved he wasn’t mad.
Before I showed up, Emma Statcher used my blog as leverage against Harrison Patrick The Dare Smith. Everyone in the guitar orchestra let Emma apply sparkles to their cheeks. Only Harrison resisted. Emma said “I’m going to tell Joe to put it in his blog if you don’t.” Emma told me anyway. Is that the kinda shit the music industry’s been telling you Harrison? No more sparkles?
This might be my favorite Dan English set I’ve played. I was sitting on the stage so I could really feel the kick drum. And Dan’s solos were particularly ripping.
He invited a guest singer to the stage and she taught us all a canon. She was maybe Icelandic? Very cool and Dan said she was one of his favorite living musicians.
Kierst was fire. The drums sounded amazing and she had a very cool scarf.
Then Disq. I went in blind and I was blown away. Two things I’m not used to seeing onstage: Gibson Explorers and Daffy Duck sweaters.
An amazing rock band. Everyone sings, trading off lead vocals. Three guitars, but the part writing is super economical. Groovy Rickenbacker bass lines. Every layer felt melodic, singable, and deliberate.
A fair amount of pop punk whininess in the vocal delivery. Not totally my vibe but it seems to be their vibe and they definitely rock it. They’re also a bit mathy, which can be a turn off for me, but it’s all pretty un-flashy. I’m generally not interested in music that strives to be smart. But with Disq, all of the weirdness really serves the songs. Even the most dissonant moments were super melodic. 0% filler. Erratic breaks when the energy boils over, but nothing that gets in the way of danceability.
Best drummer swag I’ve seen in a while. Sorry to all the other drummers. The room was only half full by the end of the set, but anybody who left made a mistake. A special shoutout to my readers in Madison, Wisconsin—thanks for sharing a killer band.
Guest Column: Richard Orofino x Like a Doll x Meth Wax (11/18) by Caroline
I’ve never hosted anything before. Other than the occasional “come over, I’ll roast vegetables” for a stray friend or two, but definitely never something as ambitious or coordinated as a backyard house show. Having people over, especially in a big group, feels really intense for me. But I knew the backyard was ripe for some sort of Function, and I would be disappointed in myself for not following up on the idea.
My apartment (which I have since moved on from) had a great backyard. Here’s a list of some of the other things I did in the backyard: eat a meal in the sun (x many); smoke (x many); break up with someone (x 1); pass out from covid (x 1); talk to a butterfly (x 1); get bit by a mosquito (x many); photoshoots (x 7?)
My neighbor threw a backyard show (sponsored by Pzaz energy mist, somehow) earlier in the summer, so there was still a makeshift stage (like 6 stacked pallets and a cheap pink furry rug) for us to utilize. I floated the idea of a friends and lovers only house show to Emma, Chloe, Richard, and Dan, and it was met with plenty of energy. Still, it lived in my head as a far off idea. Luckily, my roommate Ellie is a Do-er. She believed in the vision and our ability to execute it. Chloe was busy with two other epic gigs that weekend (opening for Girlpuppy and Tei Shi), so we were thinking out who could play, and narrowed it down to a set from Richard, Emma’s band (Like a Doll), maybe a solo set from Dan, and a closer from Meth Wax (friends of Ellie’s who were down to do their first set since 2016).
Through a bit of frantic last minute equipment issues (tube amps famously don’t like cold weather), we cobbled something together. Ellie rented PA equipment and the world’s tiniest mixer and Richard and Dan agreed to trade off running sound. Ellie picked up hand warmers for the group and I made a candy bowl for the guests filled with lollipops, cigarettes, and condoms (I still have a lot of lollipops, but no more cigarettes or condoms. I’m glad you guys are being safe but I have too many lollipops). Dan decided not to play a set of his own due to lack of an orchestra, so I updated the flier that Ellie had made using an image from the Medical Museum Archives of Baltimore.
By 9:45ish, we were up and running and Richard started his set. Most of the heads in the crowd were familiar to me, which adhered to the rule of friends and lovers only. Richard’s music enchants me. It’s dreamy and sultry and the entire crowd was sucked into his effortless vortex of tunes. He insisted one of his newer, unreleased songs sounded shitty, but the swaying, blissed out attendees begged to differ. He executed some jester’s privilege between songs which cut that initial tension of being the first set of the night. Richard’s a rockstar, and if you have’t heard Johnnycakes, you will.
Next was Like a Doll, Emma’s band comprised of her, Leah, Gabe, Dan, and Adrian. Emma is making some of the most special music coming out of New York right now. It’s whimsical, it’s lullabic, it’s feisty, and it was meant to be heard in an outdoor setting. Emma’s smoky vocals glaze overtop a dynamic between musicians that can only be formulated through years of goofing and jamming. The tessellation between their sounds made the entire crowd feel warm. I’ve seen them play several times now, but something about this set felt particularly perfect. Tope and I got emotional together during the set. There’s only one Like a Doll song streaming right now, and you should definitely listen to it outside, if possible.
Between sets, Leah read out some secrets from the secret jar, in which attendees had to write an anonymous secret. Someone admitted to pooping their pants on a school bus, and others professed crushes behind the security of anonymity.
Last was Atlanta-born punk quadsome Meth Wax, who had spent the last 7 days rehearsing for their big reunion show. They stopped performing several years ago once they all relocated, but have since all moved to New York. They confided that they were nervous about their performance since it had been so long, but I was blown away. The juxtaposition of their sludgey punky surfy sound after the Like a Doll set actually felt so correct. The crowd couldn’t help but mosh to Sea of Blowjobs, spilling cups of lukewarm hot cider and bumping elbows.
The crowd of cold people dispersed and we cleaned up. Emma, Richard, Leah, Dan and I walked to Carmelo’s and promptly left to relocate to Palmetto. We all shared our roses, buds, and thorns for the night, and agreed on a sentiment of earnest gratitude and joy. I was in bed (in my new apartment) by 2:30.
I love my friends very much, thank you to those who came, who played, danced, and who took lollipops. Let’s do it again sometime.
yes!! thx for the shoutout